Pizza Stage Three - Baliwood Pizza

Once again, I have offended the entire East Coast, but being a Jersey Boy, all I can say is 'Suck it.' Once again, this will be RIPE with plenty of cheats for the purist to vomit at. Get over it. I have other shit to do today.
Today I made a pizza that has been swimming around in my head ever since I picked up a bag on wheat flour from my local Indian Grocery Store. (having been Imperialized by the English for a time, they
have a really interesting mix of things, I recommenced a visit) For this pizza, I start with a once again 'screwed with' version of my perfect crust: this time I substitute 4/9th's of the flour with the wacky flour from the Indian Grocery store.

Toppin's:
Chicken: For this I use about three boneless chicken breasts. In a saute pan, I put oil, the chicken, and heat. once it starts popping, I take a warm cup of water and add salt, pepper, a bit of Louisiana hot sauce, and garlic powder. Cover. in 10-15 minutes, I use my kitchen scissors (what - seriously, you don't have kitchen scissors? Ok, I can't help you here. Get them, love them, figure them out, and come back later) and cut the chicken into little sub-one inch bits. I let that coomm in until the water is pretty much gone. Then I add some more oil and some Garam Marsala and Yellow Curry powder (yes, looks like you're gonna really need to make that trip to the Indian grocery now). That'll cook for a few more minutes, let the curry marsala do it's thing.
Spinach: Ok , I love spinach. fresh, frozen, whatever. In another grand cheat, I will use frozen chopped spinach. In a MW safe bowl, I put about 2 cups of spinach with 6oz of plain yogurt, salt, and yellow curry. I nuke the living shit out of that in 2 minute steps, stirring it inbetween, until it's all cooked together and the mixture is thickened (yes, please do this o the stovetop - I was jut feeling particuarly lazy about it today).
Putting it together:
Super cheat No. 3: Trader Joe's Curry Marsala Simmer. Shut up. It's fine. Just get over it.
Spread the TJ's simmer sauce like you would normally. then the chicken, and the spinach. On top, I toss on a bit of Mozzarella cheese, just to keep it real. This one is probably best served with a rich white wine - Chardonnay probably. I'll have it with some scotch though. No accounting for taste.

TSA Asks Terrorists to "Man-Up"

Excerpted from some random crap swirling around the internet:
"Here is a possible solution to all the controversy over full-body scanners at the airports. Have a booth that you can step into that will not X-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device you may have on you. It would be a win-win for everyone, and there would be none of this crap about racial profiling and this method would eliminate a long and expensive trial. Justice would be quick and swift. Case Closed! This is so simple that it is brilliant. I can see it now: you are in the airport terminal and you hear a muffled explosion. Shortly thereafter, an announcement comes over the PA system, "Attention standby passengers we now have a seat available on flight number..."

Pizza: Stage Three - The Deep End

East Coast brethren, forgive me. I have put things on a pizza that no self respecting East Coaster from 'the tri-state area' would even consider. But I've been in California for fifteen years, and it tastes really good. So suck it.

Here's the skinny on what is what I will call: The Tuna Tumeric Pizza


To begin, I already screwed up the crust. Based on my final tweaks of the perfect crust, I substitute Potato Flour for 1/9th of the flour. It gives the crust a very crisp outer edge, while staying chewy on the inside. Bomb-tastic.
For the sauce, I use a base of a bunch of cheats. I would love to have time to start everything I do from fresh vegitables, but that's just not the reality. So I get a can of stewed tomatoes, puree them, and add a bit of commercially jarred tomato sauce (I like Classico's Tomato n Basil, but whatever). I put in about 2 table spoons of the pre-made sauce to every cup of the stewed tomato puree - this keeps the sauce tasting fresh and light. To offset the tuna concoction that's going on top of the sauce, I mix into the sauce about 2 tablespoons of chunky Blue Cheese dressing - yes, this is yet another cheat. I could sit around and stir broken Gorgonzola into a low simmering saucepan of cream and butter, but there's a point of diminishing returns when you are spending 3-4 hours to make one lousy pizza. The cheats are just part of the game - go with it. So now I've got what, to the eye, resembles a classic Italian pink sauce (tomato/alfredo).
Now onto the tuna prep. Again, in a sick maneuver of cheating, and really out of laziness of not wanting to go tot the store for fish, I open a can of tuna in water, drain, and break it up in a bowl. To this I add a bunch of yellow mustard, the kind they serve in public schools. I don't want to add too many flavors to the tuna within the mustard, just the tang of the mustard seed, and the color of the turmeric. Next, I add some wine vinegar. I have some I got up in Napa that has some italian style herbs in it, so I used that. Lots. I mix all that in, and then add a couple tablespoons of EV olive oil. Now it looks like this:

Then I put it together, using a fork to pull out small bits of the tuna and spread it evenly around the pizza. I don't press or pull the tuna once it's down. just try to get it into small piles. Then I add some mozzarella cheese. Then, just cook it on the Pizza Stone for 9 minutes at 435. (My testing produced the best results when I get the oven right in between 425 and 450). During these 9 minutes, I wonder if this pizza is gonna taste like shit, or not. When it's cut and cooled. I tasted it and thought it was both unique, and good enough to mention here, so there you go. Enjoy.

Recycle trailers

Who knew? Not me. But when I went to Orntario California to film the whole process, I was pretty blown away. They are really doing a great job at this, and they even recycle a lot of the film stock too, it just the trailers. Great project and a good feeling form it, win win!

How to start a Gourmet Food Truck Business

Unless mom and dad are bankrolling you, or you've just been let go from a fat six figure gig that gave you a walking package to invest with, you're gonna need some start up capitol. But never fear. I've crunched some numbers already. This handy spreadsheet shows that you just need to walk into the bank and explain to them that you simply want to sell little pizzas out of a truck on the side of the road, but first all you'll need is a two million dollar loan to get started. Simple enough! Good luck.

Pizza: stage one

This week has been Pizza week. So far we've done a quick run of 6 pizzas. We tried a few very traditional, simple crust/red sauce type affairs to get the hang of it, and then started mucking about. Full disclosure: over the summer I did quite a bit of mucking about on the Grill outside making pizza, which I will admit is really fun, wickedly fast, and impresses guests in that way that makes you feel like you're on a cooking show. But this time around we are concentrating on the Oven Stone (pretty sure it's actually clay) Here's what I have learned so far:

Crust:
It's all about the crust. (see below for a measured recipe) Whatever crap you want to put on top of your crust is none of my business, and really, I don't care. But the crust - your pizza will live and die by it's crust. Trust me. There are way too many dough recipes for pizza crust, so I'll just give you the simple facts: The ratio is 5 parts flour to 3 parts liquid, and a "packet" of yeast. That's it. You can argue all day about what kind of flour, bottles water, kneading by hand, or any of that, but if you use the ratio even approximately, you've gonna wind up with a wad of dough that you can push out into a pie crust. For example:
Open a packet of yeast into a glass of warm water, to get it 'activating'. stir it up, add a little sugar, a little oil, okay. Now, pour it into a bowl and start adding flour. I know, you're thinking , "how much flour? And while I'm at it, how much water was I supposed to use?" It doesn't matter. Really. Just pour the water into a bowl. Now, just remember that you're eventually gonna add enough flour to get to your 5:3 ratio. just keep mixing and adding, eventually, it'll get gummy, sticky, and then it'll just start to ball up, away from the edges of the bowl. You're done.

OK, you're one of those people who organizes their underwear drawer by weight? You need something more tangible. I get it, you want real numbers? Here's the one I've been using and getting killer results:
• 4 1/2 cups flour
• 2 tea spoons of salt (I use garlic salt for flavor)
• packet of yeast (or one teaspoon of yeast)
mix them together in a big-ass bowl. then full a 2 cup measuring cup with:
•1 2/3 cups water
• 1/3 cup olive oil
put your mixer in the bowl (or go for it, man up and try it by hand if you dare) and start adding the liquid. Seems to help to let it mix for a good minute or two. and.... done. This will make 3-4 pizzas, depending on how big you wan to to make them.
In all cases, it's best to cover the dough, and let it rise for at least :45 minutes. An hour if you have the time. Overnight for even better results.


Okay, enough about that. Now for the fun stuff. The best part about the dough is that you can put pretty much anything in there. Especially when it comes to Herbs and Spices. For example: You could mix curry powder and some chillies into the dough, then top the pizza with Saag Paneer and some seared Lamb, wa-blam! Indian Pizza!
Crust Hints:
• if you use Rosemary (which is a favorite for this), grind it with a mortar and pestle first, then mix it into the dough, it will really take the flavor into the crust, and you won't have twigs in the crust. Blech, no one wants twigs.
• more oil into the dough = crispier dough. It also has the effect of making the dough easier to make into thinner crust, if that's your thing. I have found that more oil is better than less oil.
• Oven Stone. They go for around thirty to fifty bucks to start, and they are sort of a MUST HAVE item if you're gonna start making pizza at home. But hey, if you like your pizza burnt or under cooked, by all means, try to do it on the rack or a cookie sheet. Best of luck with that.
• Semolina flour. Course ground. You don't make the dough with it, but you want to dust the oven stone with it, and even your counter when you're pressing out the dough to form the pie. this is what is gonna give the bottom of the pie that 'pizza shop' feeling.
• Pizza Peel. Get one. Just do it. once you've got the dough starting to form out, get it on the peel and finish dressing the pizza right there. Then it's just slip, right onto the oven stone. Seriously, there is no manageable way to get the pizza from the counter to the oven without one. The cheap ones are like ten bucks. Aluminum. This is what I have, and it's fine. But if you got the bucks, spring for the twenty five dollar version in all wood, it's just prettier, and as far as I know, wood doesn't give you Alzheimer's.

That's it so far.

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